Chances are you found this page because I told you to come here. (I knew I liked you!)

Or, you liked something I had to say and wanted to see what other kinds of nonsensical thoughts pop out of my head.

Or, you’ve just been really bored the past however many minutes, and somehow found your way here.

Regardless, welcome.

This is a big day for you. You’ve found the thing that’s going to make all your wildest dreams come true.

lol, just kidding. I’m good, but I’m not a genie.

That would be cool if I was though, wouldn’t it? To be able to grant people wishes and stuff? And live in a lamp?

I guess I could only come out when someone rubbed the lamp. That would be kinda dumb.

I’d be a cool genie though. Like, none of that “3 wishes” garbage. I’m a damn genie. I can do whatever the hell I want.

“Oh, what’s that? You want a fourth wish? Boom! Granted.”

“Sorry, I don’t like you as much. Only two wishes for you.”

“Oh, you don’t like that? How about no wishes then.”

I guess I would be kind of a dick genie…

…what were we talking about?

I don’t know, just sign up for my newsletter so I can send you more cool and funny stuff, help you get Rhino-Jacked, look great naked, and all that.